Week 5: Morning Moon

And no I don't mean my husband's cute little booty as he makes his way to the shower in the morning.  I took this picture of the very early morning moon last week as it peeked through the trees and I thought I'd share it.  I can't help but admire the ethereal moon as it peeks through the bare winter tree limbs.  Eerie, really- kinda gives me the shivers!

I'm usually an energetic and hopeful woman.  This past week, though, was an entirely off week for me, and I'm glad it's over.  It's been a long time since I've experienced a week as icky as last week actually.  It was nothing and everything, small moodiness and large sadness.  Apathy wrapped my brain in heaviness, and there is nothing I hate more than that dull feeling of listlessness.

A good part of it is this dark dreary weather.  Going more than a few days without sunlight affects me badly, no matter how hard I try to deflect the blues.  We had a bright sunshiny day on Friday but with a meeting scheduled through the lunch hour I wasn't able to get out to soak up the rays.  I hear the sun may peek through three weeks from next Sunday.

I am confident this next week will be different {although I'm hearing we're supposed to get a blizzard.}  I'm sure the lethargy of last week was a passing phase.  A few things happened last week that I'm sure affected my mood:

1) My week started with being told {by two males I should add} that I should close the boutique I opened with a friend.  The very same business that has only been opened for two months- the one we put loads of time, money, effort and spirit into.  It was requested of us actually, and neither one of us are happy about this prospect.   The reasoning behind the request is that we're not making enough money.  In January.  After Christmas.  Right.  Did I mention we've only been open for two months?  Hmph.  This is now on my mind.  Decisions need to be made. It's rough and can be a blow to the ole' morale when something optimistic and positive turns into a big pile of crap in the blink of an eye.  Men don't understand the concept of a boutique!

2) Moody!  I hate feeling so emotional, especially with no apparent reason why.  No, I'm not pregnant although the last time I felt so tired and moody was in my first trimester.  My son did recently stop nursing and I think my body/whoremoans are having a hard time adjusting.  Oh, and my heart is also not adjusting well to the fact that my baby boy is maturing at a rate previously unknown to man.  Our cuddle time is diminishing... because he want to play play play!  He loves his toys and while it's thoroughly adorable to watch him so engrossed in playing I do kinda miss the days when I could just hold him in all his warm, soft baby-smelling wonderfulness in my arms for hours while admiring his beautiful little self.  Now I might have a split second while he's blinking to hug him tight before he pops out of my arms like a little greased monkey!   

3) On Friday I found out that an old high school friend passed away.  I hadn't seen him in twenty years, unless you count being friends on Facebook.  John and I had math classes together, and he helped tutor me because I was horrible in math {I still am although with John's help I was able to pass my classes.}  I've always remembered him with fondness because he was an exceptionally friendly and sweet boy.  I'm sad to learn than his life as a grown man is over, and way too soon.

Week 4: Perspective

How do you view the world? Be honest. Is it through rose-colored glasses, concentrating on the positive, or are you a "glass half empty" kinda person?

Do you use your imagination, that wonderful gift God grants us that allows us to travel, in our mind, to places we've never experienced before yet dream about?

What do you see when you look at the above picture?

~ "more snow, darn it!"
~ paw prints in the newly fallen snow {bunny prints to be exact}
~ "I can't wait for winter to be over."

or...

Did you happen to notice the fairy wings laying in the snow, wings that are just waiting for their fairy to return from where ever she wandered off to? {you see, fairy wings are made of gossamer and silk with a dash of glitter for good measure; wings become soaked and sodden when fae frolic in the snow. Snow Fairies often leave their wings behind so they don't get wet and become a huge mess while they go, well, frolicking... engaging in mini snowball fights and fae-ish things of that nature.}

It's all about perspective. Since I bought my DSLR camera and started concentrating on learning more about photography I've learned something interesting about myself: I see the world through a camera lens. All the time.

Even when I don't have my camera slung over my shoulder or in my hand.

It's like this. The more pictures I take the more I notice beauty in the normal everyday world around me. The difference in perspective is a beautiful thing {except frustrating when I don't have my camera and miss a shot- which is why I'm also getting a new point and shoot to keep on me at all times. One never knows when she might happen upon a UFO, Elvis or Johnny Depp.}

No really. I once met Captain Jack Sparrow, er- I mean Johnny Depp, and didn't have my camera on me. Thank God for the nice folk next to me who e-mailed me their photos. But I digress.

Back to perspective. Often we find ourselves plodding through life, running really, tripping over our own two feet as we zip around unaware- never taking the time to stop and smell the roses. Never being in the Now. We have our faces stuck in our iphones, blackberries... texting and contacting and connecting, yet we let life pass us by while never really connecting with anything truly important. Never noticing the beauty in that single rose, never pausing to take a breath.

Never noticing that person sitting next to us on the train, or standing in line behind us at the store, who could have really used a smile and a simple hello.

Well now I do. Stop and smell the roses that is.

I don't just stop and smell the roses; I immerse myself in them. I take a moment to really inspect the roses. If it's first thing in the morning on a summer day I marvel at the way the dew hovers on the velvet petals like tiny teardrops. If it's afternoon, hot and lively so the insects have slipped from the stupor of the chilly night, then I wait until I spy a bumblebee as it flits from one flower to the next, its fat furry body dusted with pollen.

I notice how pretty the sunrise looks over Kennedy Avenue on my way to work in the morning, shimmering like diamonds on the river and reflecting off the Hammond Welcome Center. And the sunset- don't even get me started on the sunset! Everything looks gorgeous when awash in the golden light of the setting sun- in the photog world it's called "the sweet light." And sweet it is.

I took this photo in late fall 2010 when the evening air was crisp enough to wear a jacket; clean bright air {I was taking PJ for our nightly walk.} It was right before sunset and I couldn't resist the beauty of these hardy roses illuminated by the golden-peach light of the sun.

One day we'll be older, aged. Our eyes might begin to fail us, hearing could too. We'll have no need for cell phones, ipads, instant messaging or e-mail. But in our mind's eye we'll have our memories to reflect upon. Make sure your memories are vivid, untouched by the clutter of technology. Memories that are saturated with color and crystal clear, bathed in the light of the sunset.

My wish for all who read this blog is to take the time to stop and smell the roses. Slowwwww dowwwnnn. After you make Being In The Now a priority- then take the next step, looking at life through the eyes of a child {a future blog post.} Oh, speaking of children...

My son... the light of my life, lit by the same sunset as the roses.

..................................................................................

If all else fails, there's always Captain Jack Sparrow's view on life: "There are times, almost constantly perhaps, when I prefer to look at life through the bottom of a glass... of rum."

Yet even Jack understands the magic of a sunset...

"Ya Gotta Have Faith..."

Notice the bright spring colors in this unique pendant... robin's egg-blue and daffodil-yellow with a splash of purple and green for good measure. Tiny blue flowers on an accenting handmade lampwork bead {made by me,} and sparkling crystals. The blue ribbon is made of silk and hand-dyed {also by me.} The pendant is created of sheet metal that has been hand-cut, edges smoothed and distressed for interest, then stamped with the word "Faith" and dyed with inks.

In case I forgot to mention it, this necklace was made by me. In case you were wondering. With my own two hands. Yep, little ole' me.

This is a snappy little necklace that I guarantee will be a conversation piece, and it can be yours FREE!

Free? You heard me right, F-R-E-E free :) Just how, you might ask...

Well let me to tell you!

My last post described how much I'm looking forward to spring. I'd like to know what designates, to you, your first taste of spring. Is it that first balmy breeze {you know the one- it kisses your face when you walk outside- you breathe in and know it's just different than a cold winter wind, and you're happy *yes, it's one of my first tastes of spring*} that mixes with the melting snow, letting you know warmer weather is nipping right on its heels? Or that first tiny lime-green bud forming on the tip of a tree branch?

Whatever makes your realize, for the first time after a long drawn out winter, that spring is in the air- do share by posting a response and letting me know.

Why? I dunno- because I'm talkative and nosy, and who cares anyway! There could be a free prize in it for you!

* I will only perform this giveaway if I receive at least ten responses. So make sure to post!
* I will randomly pick an answer so no response is better or more clever than the next.
* A winner will be picked next Sunday, 1-23-11.
* I'll need people to pop back in next week so I can get the winner's information {and name since on here I mostly only know screen names!} to send the necklace.
* I do not accept bribes. Not even chocolate. So don't even think about it.

Well, if you really want to give me chocolate, we'll talk later ;)

Mmmmm... chocolate. Another of my favorite things!

And the winner of the Faith necklace is... Snowcap! Now I must hit all my sites to see who Snowcap really is {under her superhero disguise!} Update forthcoming :)

Week 3: Winter

Week 3: Winter

This was the scene outside my window this morning {death-wish icicles AKA "Deathsicles" ominously lurking above, just waiting for me to peek my unsuspecting head out the back door. I'm on to them.}



Ugh. It's that time of year again. You know what time I mean... that drab, dreary seemingly never-ending few months that drag on forever once the festivities of the holidays have commenced. When everyone {but me} has taken the Christmas tree down {mine still blazes in the window} and hunkers down for the stretch between now and springtime. I really do dislike this part of winter.

I love the beginning of winter, before Christmas, when the approaching holidays make everything seem golden and fun. Christmas carols play on the radio, the first snowfall inspires giggles and smiles instead of moans and groans, and kids and adults alike look forward to time off spent with family and friends over the holidays.

But then it all comes screeching to a halt, like bashing into a brick wall really, and we have the remaining dark short sunless days of January and February to look forward to. Ick.

Melodramtic? Me? Never!

Have I mentioned how much I really REALLY dislike this time of year?

The biggest problem for me is cabin fever. I like to be outside playing with PJ or taking him for walks, and it's nearly impossible when it's 20 degrees outside with a wind chill of even lower. Now of course we have other kinds of fun but I am looking forward to when that first hint of spring is in the air.

Faith... I have faith that before ya know it those first crocuses will be poking up from beneath the snow, "kiss me I'm Irish" t-shirts will be on display on the proud backs of men drinking Guinness in pubs everywhere, and pink bunnies along with fluffy yellow baby chicks will replace my Christmas tree {I'm kidding.}

I never put fluffy yellow baby chicks in my window...

Faith... it's what leads me to my next post {a blatant attempt for active readers of this oh-so-interesting and informative blog...}

Week 2: My Son

Well I suppose I should say "OUR son" since my husband Phil did have something to do with creating this tiny little dose of perfection.



In my second photo, week 2 of the new year, PJ is proudly displaying a huge grin of self-satisfaction because he was engaging in the following activity a few nights ago, a stunt he had yet to pull off on his own:



Yep, standing. My toot is growing up!

{An aside, my son looks very much like my brother Ryan at this age in this photo, which just kinda tickles me for some reason.}

Just look how proud he is of himself... performing such a feat of amazing proportions!

So as I've described in my blog title, I. Am. A. Mommy., and in being a mom every little action PJ makes is special, adorable and has never been performed as specially adorable as by my son.

It's a mom thing.

Let's start there. Mom. Say it with me~ "mahhhhmmm." If you say it slowly, drawing out the single syllable, it almost sounds like a mantra. Mahhhhmmm... mahhhhmmm... sorta like the maternal version of "om."

Mom. Mother. Mommy. Madre. Mutter. Matka. Anya. Mathair. Any way you say it the word means the same thing. Mom. Such a simple little word yet so strong.

I never thought I'd be a mother. The thought of motherhood terrified me for a long time. Being responsible for the life of a tiny fragile little being was a totally foreign concept for me and for a while I was nearly resigned to remain childless {although God obviously had other, more interesting, plans for me.} I could only imagine I'd screw it all up somehow and my kid would wind up in a traveling circus doing the most dangerous job possible like tightrope walking without a net or sticking his head in a lion's mouth, or else he'd grow to be one of those guys who sells loud tiger rugs on the outskirts of a supermarket parking lot.

And yet now, approximately two years after learning I was pregnant, my husband and I are the proud parents of a child we love more than life itself. Philip Jay Hupke. "PJ." I can't imagine my life without him.

Unbeknownst to me since PJ's birth I've slipped a new language into my daily repertoire. "Completenonsensegibberish" is what I like to call it {although I do speak to PJ in regular adult language too- for those of you who might be gasping in shock that I still speak to my 14-month old in Completenonsensegibberish.} It's half sing-song, one quarter made up words, and one quarter English with a healthy dash of Elmoish for good measure. It's a conglomeration of all the kid songs I remember from my youth, those I've googled and also listened to via youtube, such as PJ's personal favorite {alright alright- mine too} The Belly Button Silly Song. The end result goes something like this:

La la la, la la la, Elmo's song.
We like to sing, we love to dance
To Elmo's songggggg...
And baby I have to
Tell you somethin'
Elmo's got no
Belly button
Elmo's song...

Now for this to be done properly it must be sung at a note high enough that only small children and dogs are able to hear it.

Along with the Completenonsensegibberish the list of nicknames I have for him grows longer by the day...

Bean Sprout
My Little Man
Papa's Little Guy
McLovin' {one of my personal faves}
Toot
String Bean
Honey Bunches of Oates
Peej
Cheekybutts

The list goes on and on. I could kiss his low-hanging cheeks all day long while making him giggle by saying, "What's up Mama's Little McLovin'!?"

I swear the kid's even cute when picking his nose {mysteriously he's just realized this week that his index finger fits perfectly up his nostril, although it's hilarious to watch him try to find said nostril to fit his finger up there~ it's all about coordination.}

I look back and wonder why I was so scared by the idea of Motherhood. Now I have a ready-made buddy {at least for a while, until he's a tween and realizes I'm an utter and complete embarrassment and the worst mom in the whole wide world- not even in... Kazakhstan are there more humiliating mothers than the one I will become once PJ learns to be self-conscious. Then I'll suck. But until then we'll have a fun time of it.}

Right now I'm dealing with the jealousy I feel over the smiles he bestows upon everyone he meets. What? It's been a whole three minutes since you've smiled at me and now you're breaking out into a huge grin for the woman selling The Times at Stracks and desperately waving to the Salvation Army bell ringer? What about me? What did I do to deserve this gross neglect? Did I make your oatmeal too cold? Too warm? Didn't you like the lasagna I fed you before bath time? Did it take me too long to wipe your drool-coated chin? {because Lord knows he'll be teething until he's twenty.} Was your teether not... teethy enough? Whatdididooooo???

And I realize it's nothing... I'm just fortunate to have a very happy guy, one who's on the verge of no longer being a baby but instead a little man.

Week 1: A Mommy Escape

Ahhh... a morning at Borders is true bliss.  Notice none of my New Year's Resolutions concern cutting back on sugar, losing weight, or spending less money on frivolous {yet delicious} overpriced mochas and magazines!  I sat and read my favorite magazines: Somerset Studio, Art Beads and Where Women Cook {a mag that will make you drool over some of these women's fabulous and so-cool-it's- not-even-fair kitchens} that had Ree Drummond, better know as The Pioneer Woman, featured on its front cover.  I actually bought three of these magazines because they were chock full of great ideas for jewelry and digital art.

I post this as my first photo of the year because it demonstrates some of my favorite things: reading materials, a sweet cup o' joe and some time to reflect on how to better my creative aspirations. Being creative helps me be the best person I can possibly be, even when it comes to being a mother to my son and a wife to my husband. Creation is an integral part of my soul; without it I can not function. To take raw materials and transform them into something beautiful is transcending... but sometimes my creative juices need a jump start! This is why, when I get a mommy afternoon out by myself, I love to stop and flip through some magazines at the bookstore {and I still have a Barnes & Noble gift card burning a hole in my pocket from Christmas!} so I can grab some inspiration.

Also, I love, with a capital L, to read. Man do I love a good book... so I also walked out {after paying of course} with Madelyn Alt's new book, "Home for A Spell."  Seventh in her Bewitching Mystery Series {Mysteries with Hex Appeal mind you,} I haven't had a chance to begin reading it but it sits on my shelf waiting for me like an unwrapped present, a surprise in the form of a much anticipated book.  All of her covers are divine, and this one is no exception.  I had to take a picture.  When I'm a published author I'll sneak in and take pictures of my own books and post them in my blog but for now I must instead share in my friend's accomplishment by highlighting her book perched on the shelf in Borders:



If you're looking for a good new read, pop in a buy it~ I promise you won't regret it {but you may want to start at the beginning with "The Trouble with Magic!"}

My New Year's message for everyone is: be good to yourself- and remember, we are all born creative beings. We are mysteries and miracles in and of ourselves... don't ever say, "I'm not creative..." because you are. Happy New Year everyone!

What's in A Title: An Introduction to Me

In my life I have worn the following titles: daughter, sister, friend, lover, wife, worrier, dreamer, reader, writer, artist... I have my hands and mind involved in so many different facets of life that the list could go on and on.  All of these titles have helped define and shape the woman I am today yet none more so as my fairly new title of "Mother," a title I display proudly by my son Philip Jay {PJ} in my arms and the beaming smile on my face.
     
Now that I'm a mother I don't find it necessary to release any of those older titles, aspects of which make me, well... ME.  While I've found that completing some of them, say artist for example, can be a bit more of a challenge these days... doing so is even more fulfilling than before as I find that fine balance between being a great mom while continuing to be good to myself.

In the last year I've delved more heavily into photography, using my beloved Canon Rebel XS to document my son PJ's daily life: playing, eating, sleeping, laughing, being.  During this year-long journey I've sharpened my photography skills {although I'm far from being a pro by any means!} while learning from wonderful websites such as clickinmoms.com and thepioneerwoman.com.  I decided to combine my love of writing with my passion for photography to create a 52 Week Project Blog- holding myself to the challenge of posting at least once a week with a new photo that illuminates what is happening in my life.  It won't all be mommy related.  It may be more than one photo a week... and beyond that, only the next 52 weeks will tell!